What They Didn’t Know

It’s been three weeks since my grandmother passed away. Although she had been sick with COPD and lung cancer, my heart was still not ready for her to go. She fought like hell – being in and out of the hospital with pneumonia, struggling to get oxygen in to her battered lungs, she refused to lie down and let go. Instead, she dug her high heeled shoes into the hard ground beneath her and said “I dare you”. Her battle for breath ended quietly as she slipped into heaven, finally whole.

This is my tribute her…….

There are many things my grandmother kept to herself, but her age and middle name were two that she locked away and typically refused to ever share. Doris Marie peacefully and gracefully passed at age 83. She was steadfast, determined, resilient, passionate, and ohhhh so sassy!

One of 7 children, she was raised in a rural small town. Many of her stories included tales of walking to school or the mischief she and her siblings created. It was during one of these mischievous moments that she unexpectedly twirled into the arms of my grandfather. She had skipped school and was introduced to him at a local store. “I knew the moment I saw him that I was going to marry him” she had said, with a twinkle in eyes. Brought up to be tenacious and spirited, she eloped and soon a family was started.

Grandmother had 6 children. Four boys and two girls filled her life with joy, adventure, stress, sadness, and love. She loved each child for who they truly were, forever believing that they could conquer the world. Never one to back down, she worked tirelessly to help provide for her family. If you were to meet her children, you would see certain attributes that she instilled in them just by being her fantastic self. Hard work, determination, and faithfulness are the strong ones; followed quickly by loving big, being creative, and dreaming often.

She was preceded in death by her spouse and three of her children. I watched her stand gracefully stoic by each casket knowing her heart was broken into a million pieces. It was moments like those that her elegance really radiated.

There are 7 of us grandchildren who loved her dearly. Always speaking strength into us, she supported us through many transitions. Although our parents passed down the characteristics taught to them, grandmother would not miss an opportunity to teach us something new. We observed her strength and dignity each time we were around her. From showing us how to make her amazing oatmeal (butter, cream, and lots of sugar!) to empowering us in creativity and style, her imprint on our lives is deep and beautiful.

Eleven great grandchildren were held in her arms, each holding a special place in her heart. You would think with such a large family that maybe she would be running out of space in it, but yet again she showed what true love really looked like. I watched her allow a 3 year old to drive the lawn mower while she held them on her lap…… she was letting them write letters in the field with it. Listening to stories about cowboys, football, adventures that were dreamed of, dresses and dances, girlfriends and boyfriends, and even a fiance, her attention was undivided.

You see, my grandmother was simply spectacular. Sassy and smart, artistic and creative, silly and fun, classy, strong willed, driven, caring, and most of all devoted, she filled our lives the way a mother, grandmother, and great grandmother should.

I will end this tribute with a few phrases that my grandmother Doris said that will always stick with me:

Life is too short – eat dessert first. If you got it, flaunt it! Get up, put some make-up on, pull those shoulders back, hold your head high, and get to it!

And most importantly was this phrase : “You should be a writer.”

Here’s to you, grandmother……. here’s to you……..

His Someone

She didn’t have much. What she did have she was probably shameful of. She was nothing. Nothing. To herself, to others. My opinion is that she had probably been told all of her life she wasn’t good enough, so she bought into the lie and lived her adult life that way. Like she was nothing. Worthless.

Now, here she stood. Probably wrapped in some small piece of fabric. Trying to cover herself as they drug her out into the middle of the square. This nothing. This unimportant nothing of a soul, was suddenly the most important thing in their life. She was now their target. They were going to rid the world of her “evil”, of her worthlessness. I wonder if they even let her halfway cover herself. I imagine her looking like a scared animal. Her eyes wide with fear….probably the first real emotion she had felt in years.

I imagine her cowering, maybe even trembling, because she knew what was coming. I wonder if she thought “Wow. All this for me. Me. I’m NOTHING. But suddenly, I’m everything.” Everything wrong. Everything unholy.

These men, rocks in their hands, were making a show out of a “nothing soul”. Not the man they caught her with. But of her. She was the evil. I imagine them as being loud. Screaming and yelling. Spitting on her and lunging at her. Maybe even laughing as she crouched in fear.

She was brought to the temple to be used as a trap. In layman’s terms I can hear the Pharisees saying “ Ahhhhh…. the law of Moses says……what do YOU say?”

BUT….. Yes, but. JESUS steps up by bending down.

He bends down, writes in the sand and waits.

It wasn’t immediate….it wasn’t righteous…..it wasn’t loud….

The reaction to the writing was thuds and footsteps.

Each accuser reading truth written in nothing more than dirt.

Jesus – God in flesh – walks to her. Talks to her. In one small moment, gives her worth. “Where are your accusers? Has anyone condemned you?” I imagine she glanced down at her toes before raising her eyes to meet his

– guilt and shame will always make you self conscious –

and then she answered him “No one sir.”

I wonder if he spoke gently. If he looked into her eyes to confirm what he was saying. Any way it happened he declared “Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin. “

She was someone’s daughter. No matter her choices, no matter her position, no matter her sin ……. she was someone’s. How often we want to pick up stones, label someone due to their sin, condemn someone due to their past, and kill their spirit with our self proclaimed righteous judgment.

BUT GOD.

He speaks – or writes in dirt, or simply drenches one in grace and mercy – and speaks

THIS ONE IS MINE. THEY ARE MY SOMEONE.