Nests in the Skeletons

Winter.

Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day.

Cold weather, possibly snow.

Brown surrounds, with green splotches here and there.

The trees are barren, stripped of their marvelous green, gold, red and orange hues from summer and fall.

Riding in the car (as it seems I have done so much lately), I notice the barrenness of it all. Branches stretch high, grayish brown skeletons, so sad looking. All that’s left is a multitude of birds nests. Simple clusters of grass, hay, string . . . anything that was available was made into a safe haven. Each bird took time to create this place of safety. The location was strategic – high up, surrounded by leaves, inconspicuous. There was protection within the leaves. They were hidden from predators, sheltered from the wind and rain, shaded from the harsh sun . . .

Now, the leaves are gone, the weather has changed and the hard work of the birds stand as nothing more than reminders of what was.

My heart ponders. Are there birds nests in our lives? Have we been directed by the Holy Spirit to build something? We may have worked hard, pulled together our resources, built something that was precious to us. It was a protective place. We felt comfortable, warm, safe in that place. We enjoyed our spring and summer. When fall came we kept holding on, waiting. But, when the winter hit, did we fly out? Did we lose hope? Did we give up?

Will those abandoned nests still be there when spring comes? Will they be used by another? Did we build our nests strong enough to withstand the winter wind and snow?

Are we like the little bird in the nursery rhyme “The North Wind Doth Blow”?

The North wind doth blow and we shall have snow,
And what will poor robin do then, poor thing?
He’ll sit in a barn and keep himself warm
and hide his head under his wing, poor thing.

Or, will we sit firm? Will we wait it out, hold on strong, knowing that there’s beauty to come?

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Meet Me

I’ve never needed you more than I need you right now. Broken hearted my spirit torn, my soul cries out for you. I know you will surround me with your presence and drench me with your grace, knowing you only see your beloved – not all my mistakes. My soul cries out for you.

Meet me in the garden, walk with me all day.f Listen to my ramblings wipe my tears away. All the love I’ve ever needed, ever wanted, ever craved, you laid upon my life the day you gave your life away.

This darkness that surrounds me is darker than any night. The fear and uncertainty are all that’s in sight, yet my soul cries out for you. With arms reaching with more fervency than ever before, I know I’ll  find you waiting once more, so my soul cries out for you.

Meet me in the garden, walk with me all day. Listen to my ramblings, wipe my tears away. All the love I’ve ever needed, ever wanted, ever craved; you laid upon my life the day you gave your life away.

Original: Jenni Dayton

Spa Day Anyone?

I’m looking for a place of peace. Tranquility. A place where I’m good enough just being me. A place where who I am is what is needed. A place where my heart stays soaring and my mind stays . . . happy? Right now, I have three children arguing, one husband trying desperately to handle them, two cats fighting, and me needing to go to sleep at an unfamiliar hour due to the fact that I have to be up at 4:30 in the morning. NOT peaceful at ALL.

On top of that, I made the mistake of asking to go to the mall after dinner. With the kids. NOT a good decision. I desperately needed a new nose ring (yes, I have a nose ring and yes, God still loves me) and I just KNEW that since they had been fed it would all go well. Nope. We left with one in tears and one screaming that “it’s not FAIR!”.

I sit here now, knowing I will not be falling asleep anytime soon, thinking about a peaceful place. I’ll be honest, I haven’t had the best of weeks. It seems that for every step I take, I jump back two. Lately, I feel inadequate at just about everything. All I want is for someone to say “you’re of value to me”. Well, someone besides my wonderful husband! I would LOVE for someone to just speak lavishly about me. Doesn’t everyone want that at some point and time? To know that even though I have . . . pitfalls, I also have abilities that are beyond sufficient. That would be nice.

I am longing for some worship time. I know with out a doubt that is what I need. Not the normal stuff either. I need the fall to the ground and weep worship. The make-up smearing, snot dripping, losing all sense of time worship. In the presence of my King I find peace. I find acceptance. I find love. In the presence of my Daddy I find a covering. I find myself wrapped in HIS arms, safe from everything (even the exasperated screams of a three year old!). Yes, worship time is what I need. It’s not like a spa either. You know, where YOU expect to be waited on, and massaged, and exfoliated, yadda, yadda, yadda. No, it’s me waiting on him. Asking him to massage my faith and exfoliate the nasty stuff. It’s spending time telling HIM how amazing he is and how much I adore him. Because in HIM I have my being.

(Acts 17) 26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

As I have been writing, I was reminded of a poem I wrote a few years ago.

Seem to be wrong, do wrong,

not be or do enough.

So frustrating not to make anyone happy-

it makes me want to cuss!

Try to be a good mommy, wife, teacher,

sister, daughter – do it all.

Can’t get any one thing done right or finished –

I always seem to fall.

Happy only when I’m lost in You

giving You it all.

Going down on my knees in worship

is the only time I fall.

You make me, at that moment

Who I’m meant to be

A wife, mommy, teacher,

a worshiper – just ME.

Not who this world expects

not who anyone demands.

Only who You desire

and who You created with your hands.

You life me up

and cup my chin

“I’m proud of you, my child”

you say with a grin.

“Struggle not with the world

stress not over your life –

I will take your load

I will take your strife.

Lift your hands high

and feel the rushing wind.

Right here on my wings

find rest – THEY will never bend.

We’ll soar together, you and I

I will ease all doubt.

You’ll rest and I will carry you

high above the clouds.”

So, off to bed I go. I’ll dream of soaring – no doubt!

Dance With Me Again

Stoic faces

Same ‘ol, same ‘ol.

They come in mad, sad,

frustrated and confused.

They are searching for more

but living with less.

They have guarded hearts with

fenced in feelings.

They’ve come to a place

where freedom reigns

and peace is heavy in the air

Where joy is freely delivered

and chains are forever gone –

yet they stand –

not moving, standing in

their own swamp.

“Come to me!”

the spirit screams.

“How I long for you

to dance!

Put your burdens upon me

let me be your peace.

I Am

is here

with all you need.

Step into the river

let the refreshing begin.

You are my children

and I

long for

you.”

Original ~ Jennifer Dayton 1/31/11