Tell Us A Little

About yourself…..This should be an easy prompt. “Tell us a little about yourself”…. we see this prompt on our social media accounts, on job applications, and even hear it in interviews. The world believes that each and every one of us should be able and willing to express a response to this simple prompt. So why is it so hard for me to give a response right now?

Maybe it is not that I can not answer the prompt. Maybe it the fear that what I say will hurt. It will hurt me, and or others. Maybe it is due to the “undoing” of what I once believed I was, what I dreamed of being, what I needed to be. Maybe, just maybe the realization that I am not who or what I said I was, and being honest about it, will cause more pain than hope.

Let me just be honest: If  I “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” to this prompt, there will be some of you who walk away. Or, maybe not. So, since I feel like I have lost my adventurousness, I’m just going to go with it…….

Let me “tell you a little about” myself. In the past four years I have lost everything I once thought I was, including a writer. I have let the influences of others over-ride my inner being. You know, the inner being that helps you dream? The one that tells you that you ARE different, and that is good…..the one that tells you to get up after being knocked down…..the one that sounds a LOT like your mom telling you that you are a warrior – oh wait, maybe just MY mom said that!

There are those of us who have lost ourselves. We have been trudging through  life in a cloud of others expectations and calling it life. We hear words of discouragement, judgement, ridicule, and lies and call it music – because it is all we hear. There are those of us who revel in accolades from our enemies and call it love. We need to be awoken. We need to know what life, love, music, beauty, and joy truly is……

The hard truth is that so many who are trudging in that cloud, once knew the true life, the true love, the true joy. They were once dreamers, singers, artists, lovers……Who will reach out to them – to us?

Let be clear: this is not a “woe is me” blog. I am simply stating a fact – there are so many who live a false life, just hanging on and searching for just ONE GOOD THING to happen. . . So can you be that one thing for someone today? Or tomorrow?

I am going on a journey, starting right now. I am going to find myself again. The road will most likely be hard, and at times almost unbearable, but I have to do this. I HAVE to get out of this nasty, stinch filled cloud. I hope you will join me. If not out of pure inquisitiveness, but maybe to help yourself or someone you love.

“Finding Jenni – The Amplified Version” begins……….

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