Salty Eyelashes

Tears in the night lead to salt covered eyelashes in the morning. The sunlight is still too much to bear.

My head aching, and my soul mimics.

Even in the light, the darkness surrounds. Crying out seems futile. My eyes close, deliberately. How long will it take? How many words will I have to stumble through in prayer before my soul lies at ease? When will this season be over? How many more roots will be tested and trimmed before I finally get to grow?

Breakfast then more prayer. Dear God, this is not fun. I do not like this place, I have visited it before and I swore to never return.

Communication only deepens the wound, and swirls the confusion that entangles this horrid place. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t hang on any longer.

Words on a page jump out at me. I am. A gift from others received just yesterday has already served it’s purpose. I Am.

“God replied to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites:I AM has sent me to you.”(Exodus 3:14)

“God’s answer was, “I AM!” That is, ‘Moses, I’ll be whatever you need Me to be as you carry out my assignment. If you need miraculous signs in order to convince Pharaoh, then that is how I will express Myself. If you need Me to interrupt nature and part the waters of the Red Sea, then I will demonstrate Myself in that way. If you require food and water, then I will be your provider. If you are afraid, I’ll be your strength.’

“At the beginning of Moses’ walk with the Lord, Moses had no idea all that he would need God to do for him. Yet each time Moses faced a need, He learned something new about God. Moses came to realize that there was much more to God than a burning bush.”(quote from Experiencing God Day by Day)

He is my I am. He is the cool water that washes the dried salt from the endless tears. He is the peace that covers like a blanket during the storm. He is the light that shines even in the darkest hour. He is the guiding voice that directs me through the tangles of the forest of unrest. He is I am.

He finds me in my weakness, loves me in my sin. Knows me in my anger, and rejoices in my victory. He never leaves me, never forsakes me, never underestimates me. To him, I am everything.

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