Hi, My Name is Jenni, and I Was A Puddle Jumper

My favorite subject in school was English. Surprise, surprise. I ADORE reading. I love it. I wish I could do it more. But, vocab was a big rival to the reading part. I was enthralled to learn words that made ordinary sentences come alive. By far one of my favorite vocab words was “aesthetic” . I guess because to me, that’s what words were, a way to make ordinary stories or thoughts ornate and beautiful. A lot of times you will see me list definitions to words that I use when I’m writing. I do this to help you have a mental image, an enhanced perception of what I’m trying to portray. So, with that being said, here’s to the love of vocab!

To dream – to have a cherished desire.

Puddle – a small body of standing water

Ocean – a large body of water constituting a principal part of the hydrosphere

These three ordinary, yet artistic words, are my life right now. I feel as if I live in a constant state of dreaming. Although that is not completely unpleasant, it is becoming inadequate. I find myself saying “when this happens” or “as soon as we can do this” or “someday we can” , more than I find myself accomplishing any of my dreams. As we saw before, a dream is not necessarily unobtainable. Quite contrary, it is very obtainable when it is simply a “cherished desire”.  In Nehemiah 4, Nehemiah and the Jews were rebuilding the wall in Jerusalem. This was a cherished desire for them. They worked hard and tirelessly, keeping the end result in their thoughts. There were officials who did not want the wall rebuilt, and they did their best to discourage, to scare, and to flat-out threaten the workers. Nehemiah, still believing in his dream, prayed to God and then stationed guards and armed his workers. They had a dream, and they were not going to be discouraged by those who did not share the same desire.

Though I dream, a lot, I am discouraged at the rate of accomplishment. That is where the puddle comes in. As a kid, I loved puddles. Now, I watch my kids jump whole heartedly into any and every puddle available. But in my parallel, puddles are unacceptable. They are tiny little bodies of water that are not going anywhere, except evaporating back into the sky. They fulfill nothing. They are a whisper, a leftover, a small reflection of what once was. I’m tired of jumping into puddles. I am not satisfied with puddles.

Which brings me to oceans. Anyone who has ever been to the beach cannot ignore the greatness of this body of water. The wonder of its vastness is overwhelming. I question what is in it? What mysteries does it hold? Where has this particular wave come from and where will it go from here? I know who made it, I know who controls it. THAT is what I want in my life. I want to dive into an ocean of possibilities, an ocean of accomplishments, an ocean of adventure.

I feel surrounded by those who, like the officials in Nehemiah’s grand dream, threaten and discourage my dreams. They see only my current place, maybe even my past, and they have tried to halt my dream. They want me to be satisfied with the puddles they provide, instead of the oceans that I know are available.

So, I will go to sleep tonight, dead set on diving into an ocean. No more dreaming of oceans while jumping in puddles (from the song “Pretend”). I will station guards around my heart, and I will shout to those who are furiously withholding my progress, “I won’t be afraid of you! I will put my mind on the Master, great and awesome!”

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