Tonight I went to the movies with my sister in laws. The movie was hilarious, the company was amazing. Afterwards, I began a conversation with one of the girls. I expressed this deep fear I have about where my life is at right now. Not that I am slipping into depression or “back sliding” or anything like that, but just this HUGE uncertainty about my future. Anyways, my sister in law was saying how her pastor did a message and he was saying “who told you that you couldn’t? Who told you that you wouldn’t?” She was just encouraging me and saying how one day I would be reminiscing on our conversation and that God had proved he had it under control. My current situation has millions of paths to take, not a single one of them being clear cut. To be honest, I had talked to a friend just yesterday who said “The good thing is that you are not having to choose the lesser of 3 evils, but instead choosing the greater of three opportunities!” Oh, how those words were welded onto my heart. Yes, they are opportunities, but with the opportunities come the chance of failure. Will this be right for my family? Will it be good for me? Is it where God wants me? Uncertainty is like an ocean in my life right now. There is a storm of possibilities. The questions my mind are presenting are like waves. Yet, I know God will provide an answer. My whole conversation made me think of the story of Jesus walking on water. I have seen him in my life and I have asked “Is it really you?” The answer is “Yes. Come to me.” I started that path. I got out of the boat. I believed. I was certain. But, I think the waves have caused me to question. Question the direction. Question the path. Should I go back to the boat? THAT swim would be horrible! Because without my faith (which I feel is like looking into Jesus’ eyes) I will sink. Going back to the boat would consist of me swimming. No doubt I’d get there, but I would be very tired and weary. Have I lost that faith? If I have, I’m not going back to the boat. My cry is “Jesus!” And I KNOW he is close enough to reach out his hand and lift me back up. So, I’m on my way up. When I get back on top of the water, watch out! Me and Jesus, we’re gonna rock your world!
Matthew 14 (The Message)
22-23As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.
24-26Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.
27But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”
28Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”
29-30He said, “Come ahead.”
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”
31Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”
32-33The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, “This is it! You are God’s Son for sure!”